JT (or should i call you JT TANK, your new self-imposed nickname)? :),
this week you started 3rd grade. you've started out the year with a bang! you have a great teacher, you feel very positive and you have buddies in your class..all super awesome. you're playing on headfirst so you'll be doing baseball now until little league starts up again.
i honestly see so much of your own personality and character developing these days. we can no longer mold you as easily as we did when you were younger.
this week, you were trading toys with a 5 year old friend on our block. apparently, the trade involved some small parts and lost pieces (on his end). at the end of the night, his dad demanded you give him the unbroken parts you traded for, even though the other boy lost his parts. you tried to explain that the boy lost his parts and these were YOUR parts but the dad used his authority to make you feel like you had to hand them over. you, being you, handed them over and came back home feeling sad and defeated. angry tears were coming out of your eyes and i could feel your frustration with the situation. i know it hurt you more that you were being treated unfairly than it was to lose your pieces. your dad was telling you all these things you could say or do to the boy and dad next time but after he was done venting his own anger, you said, "i don't want to do or say those things, dad. i feel uncomfortable and it's just not me". when i heard you say that to your dad, my heart was filled with pride and love for you. to say that, it meant to me that
A) you're not afraid of your dad
B) you have a sense of self
C) you are thinking critically
all of these things i value incredibly and it's beautiful that you are a person who does not like to hurt others or think in terms of revenge or "getting back at someone". at baseball yesterday, another kid also kinda railroaded you at 1st base, pushing you off saying he "called it first". instead of shoving back and yelling, you told me you didn't think it was worth it and you let him go first. while your dad and i respected your decision, we also told you that it's ok to stand up for yourself and push back, when needed. you didn't want to start beef with a new teammate so i understand but at the same time, i worry that you don't feel like you can stick up for yourself.
my love, this is the struggle i have with myself every day. watching you grapple with issues and then giving you the space to deal with it. and then just being there for you when the consequences of your decisions play out. i told you last night that the main thing to remember in all of this is that your dad and i support you. you can always come to us. we have your back. we still trust you (until you give us reason not to). we love you. i believe in letting you deal with things and not stepping in like that father on our street. i hope that the tools and strategies you learn from these experiences will go on to help you throughout your life. and at the end of it all, you have a safe space with me.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
staying humble
so jt, you are a great baseball player. one of the top kids in your division and you are one of the youngest. you are on a team with a lot of schoolmates and friends. it's been a great season.. and then came ALL-STARS.... someone casually mentioned that there was an all-star team at the end of the season. one game, 3 kids from each team who are ALL-STARS. picked by the coach. over the season, everyone improved. your hitting got better but you pretty much were consistent the whole season. you're an amazing pitcher, a great fielder and have struggled with batting this year but have a great technical swing. i'm not worried at all. and i also thought you were a shoo-in for ALL-STARS. time went by and memorial day weekend, i was at our neighborhood park and your buddy who lives next door to the park came out to play. his dad also came to chat with me since we are friendly. i found out A was an ALL-STAR. A deserves it, no doubt. but i knew in that moment you were not going to be an ALL-STAR. i would have gotten info about the game the next week. when that realization hit me, i felt like someone socked me in the stomach. i was angry, sad, hurt, disappointed and mostly sorry for you because YOU deserve that spot, my love. thing is, coach picked A (great baseball player), J who is also an amazing catcher and player and coincidentally whose dad owns a private baseball training company..... hmm... and his son. the other two, i wouldn't really contest. but his son? i went home and told your dad and knew he was feeling everything i felt when i found out. we talked things out and ran over all the kid on the team to figure out what we thought had happened and we came up with the fact that the coach put his kid in over you. few weeks later, coach was called out by another parent on our team about ALL-STARS. i immediately got a phone call from the coach. he wanted to let me know you were a very close 4th and that in the future, you would probably develop and make it. you know what babe? i don't need him to tell me what you will be in the future. it will be crystal clear in the future. next year, it will be about stats, not coach's pick. we'll see who makes it next year.
throughout all this, we did not tell you about ALL-STARS. and then at closing ceremony, you found out about the team because your teammate said to you, "you should have been there not <coach's son>". you came home almost in tears (i did not attend because i was staging my own silent protest). it broke my heart not because your feelings were hurt but because you DESERVED it. you EARNED it. and it wasn't fair. it sucks- teaching your kid that life isn't fair by these life experiences. it sucks that you may not believe me and your dad when we tell you that we know in our hearts you deserved that spot. it all sucks. but i love that you took a moment and when asked if you wanted to try out for fall baseball, you said yes.
my love, i tell you every chance i get but i am so in awe of you as a baseball player. it's not just your technical skills. to me, it's so much more the fact that you take it so seriously and are so focused and have a deep desire to do well. you are an AMAZING teammate and offer comfort to those who need it and encouragement to others who need it. your best qualities shine through baseball - everything i love about you.
you're a great player. i'm sure there are better out there and in the future there may be many who surpass you. you are not an ALL-STAR. but truly, none of that matters to me. i'm incredibly proud of you and cheer on your efforts and hard work. i recognize your dedication and drive.
good job, my son. season well played. i love you.
throughout all this, we did not tell you about ALL-STARS. and then at closing ceremony, you found out about the team because your teammate said to you, "you should have been there not <coach's son>". you came home almost in tears (i did not attend because i was staging my own silent protest). it broke my heart not because your feelings were hurt but because you DESERVED it. you EARNED it. and it wasn't fair. it sucks- teaching your kid that life isn't fair by these life experiences. it sucks that you may not believe me and your dad when we tell you that we know in our hearts you deserved that spot. it all sucks. but i love that you took a moment and when asked if you wanted to try out for fall baseball, you said yes.
my love, i tell you every chance i get but i am so in awe of you as a baseball player. it's not just your technical skills. to me, it's so much more the fact that you take it so seriously and are so focused and have a deep desire to do well. you are an AMAZING teammate and offer comfort to those who need it and encouragement to others who need it. your best qualities shine through baseball - everything i love about you.
you're a great player. i'm sure there are better out there and in the future there may be many who surpass you. you are not an ALL-STAR. but truly, none of that matters to me. i'm incredibly proud of you and cheer on your efforts and hard work. i recognize your dedication and drive.
good job, my son. season well played. i love you.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
baseball!
JT,
this is your 3rd year in organized baseball. we started with t-ball, went to coach pitch and this year is your first year in kid-pitch baseball. and what a pitcher you are!!! you are amazing. i get a thrill every time i see you on the field - on the pitcher's mound or not. even when you are just standing in the infield, i am so proud to be your mom. your grandfather loves baseball. i think he's always wanted to play. your uncle mike also loved baseball as a child. our parents could not take him to practices or keep up with the demands and commitments of little league so he had to quit after one season. feeling their frustrations and desires of playing baseball, i secretly always hoped you would play baseball. and you were a natural from the start. i think i've showed you the video of you at 2 years old, throwing a ball perfectly into this small netted target. you started this season a little bit unsure. unsure how you would stack up against others. you were the first pitcher in the first game. you threw. i held my breath. that inning was the longest i've sat through. in my head, i felt it was a bit of a shaky start. then i started watching other kids pitch and realized how well you did. i guess i was comparing you to the major league pitchers :P hahaha
when i see you on the pitcher's mound at our little league diamond, i feel so anxious for you because it looks so isolated over there. it's you. everyone staring at you and i imagine a lot of pressure. i asked you about this on the car ride home once. i asked if you felt all alone up there. you said to me, "i tune everything out, mom. i don't see the batter. i don't hear people yelling. i see the plate and the catcher and i'm just playing catch. i want to get it over the plate." you are 7.5 years old. my zen master. i told you that even adults try to get to that place where they can tune everyone out and focus and here you are, practicing it every single game. other kids accidentally hit the batter and get all flustered and defeated. many can't continue for more than one more pitch or so. you? you've maybe hit one kid. when i asked if you felt bad (because you are such a sensitive kid), you said, "no. it's baseball. it can happen. i didn't do it on purpose". man, i don't know what goes on in that head of yours but it truly amazes me sometimes.
on our mother-son walk this weekend, i asked you if you liked baseball because you were so good at it or if you were good at baseball because you like it so much and put the effort in. you said to me, "isn't that the same thing?" regardless of what it is, i am so proud of you. whether you play one more year and call it quits or make it all the way to MLB, you have given me such joy these past few years - watching you grow and thrive on the field. you've even brought your dad out of his shell a little, having him more involved with the team. you've changed us through just playing baseball and being YOU.
go colorado rockies!!!!!!
this is your 3rd year in organized baseball. we started with t-ball, went to coach pitch and this year is your first year in kid-pitch baseball. and what a pitcher you are!!! you are amazing. i get a thrill every time i see you on the field - on the pitcher's mound or not. even when you are just standing in the infield, i am so proud to be your mom. your grandfather loves baseball. i think he's always wanted to play. your uncle mike also loved baseball as a child. our parents could not take him to practices or keep up with the demands and commitments of little league so he had to quit after one season. feeling their frustrations and desires of playing baseball, i secretly always hoped you would play baseball. and you were a natural from the start. i think i've showed you the video of you at 2 years old, throwing a ball perfectly into this small netted target. you started this season a little bit unsure. unsure how you would stack up against others. you were the first pitcher in the first game. you threw. i held my breath. that inning was the longest i've sat through. in my head, i felt it was a bit of a shaky start. then i started watching other kids pitch and realized how well you did. i guess i was comparing you to the major league pitchers :P hahaha
when i see you on the pitcher's mound at our little league diamond, i feel so anxious for you because it looks so isolated over there. it's you. everyone staring at you and i imagine a lot of pressure. i asked you about this on the car ride home once. i asked if you felt all alone up there. you said to me, "i tune everything out, mom. i don't see the batter. i don't hear people yelling. i see the plate and the catcher and i'm just playing catch. i want to get it over the plate." you are 7.5 years old. my zen master. i told you that even adults try to get to that place where they can tune everyone out and focus and here you are, practicing it every single game. other kids accidentally hit the batter and get all flustered and defeated. many can't continue for more than one more pitch or so. you? you've maybe hit one kid. when i asked if you felt bad (because you are such a sensitive kid), you said, "no. it's baseball. it can happen. i didn't do it on purpose". man, i don't know what goes on in that head of yours but it truly amazes me sometimes.
on our mother-son walk this weekend, i asked you if you liked baseball because you were so good at it or if you were good at baseball because you like it so much and put the effort in. you said to me, "isn't that the same thing?" regardless of what it is, i am so proud of you. whether you play one more year and call it quits or make it all the way to MLB, you have given me such joy these past few years - watching you grow and thrive on the field. you've even brought your dad out of his shell a little, having him more involved with the team. you've changed us through just playing baseball and being YOU.
go colorado rockies!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
am i dreaming?
JT,
for some reason, you've decided to give me a break for the last 2 days. you've done everything i've requested after the first time i asked; you've done homework and chores before heading outside to play with your friends without argument; you've gone to bed with no delays..... i'm not sure what to make of this. i feel like i've been here before. 3-5 days is usually your max. i REALLY REALLY want to believe this is the real deal. but i'll take however many days you give me. i feel such a sense of relief. i've almost been reduced to tears a few times in the past 48 hours. why the dramatics? because for the first time, i felt like the mom i always thought i could/would be. i've doubted myself and beat myself up so many times for how harsh i felt i was treating you at times. i've questioned myself as a person, wondering how i could possible be soooo frustrated and angry at a child. a child who is mine! it's enough to drive a person crazy. but as you behaved "normally" (or at least how i imagine 80% of children to act), i realized that i should not be so hard on myself. you are a difficult personality. i don't even mean that as a dig. i love you so tremendously but the fact is, you are a difficult personality to deal with. the things we love about you also come with cons. you have always been extremely verbal and expressive (plus) but you also express your anger and frustration to us ALL.THE.TIME (minus)...... you are extremely athletic (plus) but you have EXTREME energy and could never bother to nap or sleep even close to the recommended hours (minus).... those are the two biggest examples but of course there are many. i think your dad and i are very good at understanding and meeting your needs, most of the time. but we are human so of course after years of this very high energy behavior, we can get very beat down.....
i told you once during one of our heated arguments that i have questioned my parenting a million times and try every single day to do better.. i told you maybe it wasn't me after all, but you. maybe you should care about our relationship and what it's doing to us as much as i do. some may say that is a lot to say to a 7 year old but we have always communicated openly and honestly and i honestly felt like that. these past few days make me think maybe i was right. a small change in your behavior has led to so much peace and calmness in our household. you are such a cornerstone in our family. with great honor comes great responsibility but i trust you will be able to rise to the occasion.
you are remarkable. one day i'll be able to share with you the depth of my feelings about it. for now, i want you to stay humble and do not want you to feel that you are "better" than anyone, especially your sister. but you are remarkable, in my eyes. your grandmother (my mother) told me when you were 7 months old that i would have a challenge on my hands. she predicted that you could go on to do amazing things or get into a lot of trouble. after the passed away, i've thought about her words a lot (doesn't translate very well) but i think she was onto something.... i pray that your dad and i will be adequate enough to equip you for your journey in life.... i love you.
for some reason, you've decided to give me a break for the last 2 days. you've done everything i've requested after the first time i asked; you've done homework and chores before heading outside to play with your friends without argument; you've gone to bed with no delays..... i'm not sure what to make of this. i feel like i've been here before. 3-5 days is usually your max. i REALLY REALLY want to believe this is the real deal. but i'll take however many days you give me. i feel such a sense of relief. i've almost been reduced to tears a few times in the past 48 hours. why the dramatics? because for the first time, i felt like the mom i always thought i could/would be. i've doubted myself and beat myself up so many times for how harsh i felt i was treating you at times. i've questioned myself as a person, wondering how i could possible be soooo frustrated and angry at a child. a child who is mine! it's enough to drive a person crazy. but as you behaved "normally" (or at least how i imagine 80% of children to act), i realized that i should not be so hard on myself. you are a difficult personality. i don't even mean that as a dig. i love you so tremendously but the fact is, you are a difficult personality to deal with. the things we love about you also come with cons. you have always been extremely verbal and expressive (plus) but you also express your anger and frustration to us ALL.THE.TIME (minus)...... you are extremely athletic (plus) but you have EXTREME energy and could never bother to nap or sleep even close to the recommended hours (minus).... those are the two biggest examples but of course there are many. i think your dad and i are very good at understanding and meeting your needs, most of the time. but we are human so of course after years of this very high energy behavior, we can get very beat down.....
i told you once during one of our heated arguments that i have questioned my parenting a million times and try every single day to do better.. i told you maybe it wasn't me after all, but you. maybe you should care about our relationship and what it's doing to us as much as i do. some may say that is a lot to say to a 7 year old but we have always communicated openly and honestly and i honestly felt like that. these past few days make me think maybe i was right. a small change in your behavior has led to so much peace and calmness in our household. you are such a cornerstone in our family. with great honor comes great responsibility but i trust you will be able to rise to the occasion.
you are remarkable. one day i'll be able to share with you the depth of my feelings about it. for now, i want you to stay humble and do not want you to feel that you are "better" than anyone, especially your sister. but you are remarkable, in my eyes. your grandmother (my mother) told me when you were 7 months old that i would have a challenge on my hands. she predicted that you could go on to do amazing things or get into a lot of trouble. after the passed away, i've thought about her words a lot (doesn't translate very well) but i think she was onto something.... i pray that your dad and i will be adequate enough to equip you for your journey in life.... i love you.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
resurrection
jt,
last night was a breaking point for me. the reason why i am turning to this blog again after more than 2 years. we've been doing alright. the move to the bay area was difficult for you, i know but you have been thriving and happy. you've played soccer for 2 years, basketball for 2 summers and we just started your 3rd baseball season. you love your 2nd grade teacher and have grown so much. you have such a charmed life and yet, i feel this tension within you. anger. frustration. anxiety. there have been waves of this in the past few years but lately i feel like it shows up more and more and frankly, it scares me. the defiance, the disrespect. your dad and i are constantly re-assessing and talking about what we may be doing wrong or what we could do better. i've even told you that maybe it's not me but it's YOU that is the issue. i have no idea what the hell i'm doing and i'm scared it will scar you for life or harden you.
most of my days, i can tell myself that through the yelling and nagging, you and cbear know that you are loved and that will be enough. some days, it feels so inadequate and nowhere near enough. only time may tell how this will play out but i truly struggle with this.
so what brought on the melt down last night?
homework.
i asked you to do homework and the rage and anger your expressed was mind-boggling to me. i tried to calmly talk to you to figure out what was making you so angry but in the end, i came away thinking that you were angry because i wanted you to do homework and you wanted to push it off until tomorrow. REALLY?! you are going to be so angry because your mom wants you to do homework? after i explained to you in the car that it was so much better to spread it out instead of cramming it in on thursday nights after your sister's dance class.... after 30 minutes of trying to talk to you about why this was pissing you off, i gave up. i handed you the homework folder and told you that i would never again ask you to do homework. you're on your own. as you stomped off upstairs, i sat in a daze, wondering how we got to this point. i went upstairs to tell your dad how upset i was and i started to cry. i ran to my room, face-planted on the bed and sobbed. sobbed at my failure at parenting, sobbed because i often feel betrayed that you could treat me like that, sobbed because i missed my own mom. you came in to apologize and i asked you why you were sorry. you said, "i'm sorry you're crying and upset". NOPE. try again. i sent you away. cried some more. washed my face and went downstairs. you came downstairs. sat on the couch. we stared at each other, silently, for minutes. you tried again, "i am sorry my bad behavior upset you"... i did not say it was ok. it's not ok. but i did tell you that sorry is just a word and that actions will show true remorse more than words. i know you are 7 but i truly believe it's ok to show you that i can be upset too.
i feel drained. tired. honestly, i'm so glad i have your dad. he is the number one reason why i can wake up and continue to do this. i have to believe that the love that we have for each other and for the two of you will make this right in the end. i have to believe i will look back and see that these moments were minor bumps, not the major sinkholes i feel like they are at times.
i love you even more in the face of these issues we're having. i hope you feel the same.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
school days
we survived the summer! i'm burnt out, tired and emotionally drained, but i'm still here! i enrolled you guys in a bunch of activities to round out the summer and went to every library event within 3 cities.. this week was a monumental event - jt... you started kindergarten!!!! you took a pre-K summer enrichment program at the elementary school you now attend and it was fantastic. about a month before your real kindergarten started, we were able to get on the same schedule and go on campus and actually be in the same classrooms you would be in when school started. to top it all off, you got the same room you had during summer school! and while this school typically has AM/PM kindergarten, we lucked out because this year, they happen to have low enrollment for kindergarten so they have all AM classes - YAY! i was worried that you might not be as sharp in the afternoon.. and c-bear now has no problem because kids with a sibling automatically get preference when getting AM/PM.. so you've paved the way for your sister as well!
jt - you had no problems adjusting to moving or starting kindergarten. you are a natural leader and you've already designated yourself as the best student in the class. heheheh. honestly, i know you are more than ready for kindergarten and you thrive with each new challenge that is thrown at you. academically and socially, you don't seem to have any issues. it's literally just controlling your impulses that you need to work on. settle down, little man...
here is what you told me on your first day of school (verbatim):
"hey mom, guess what? i totally wasn't the class clown! there's this girl named sally and she is sooooo annoying! she can't stop talking! nobody thinks its funny and even the teacher told her to stop talking but all she does is talk, talk, talk!! even her best friend gets irritated - i can totally tell! even if she's the best friend, she still gets really annoyed at sally!"
you crack me up. i think your dad tells you at least once a month that he does NOT want you to be the class clown and your preschool teacher said that talking about it constantly is probably what makes you act like class clown!!! haha.. i blame dad for that one!
cbear - what can i say?!?!?!!? you are seriously a diva. ATTITUDE. oh. my. goodness. if it's not your shoes, it's your purse. if it's not your purse, it's your sunglasses. or your shirt. at 20 months old, you have an opinion about EVERYTHING and you LOVE to get your way. stubborn as a mule! last week, i saw a side of you that is completely like me. jt was pushing you around and you bit him. i told you to say sorry and you would NOT do it for the life of you. 2o minutes you cried and i honestly believe you were crying because you felt a sense of injustice, not because i put you in time out. you HATED apologizing for something you felt wasn't your fault in the first place and i am the same exact way. while i totally felt your pain and understood you, i need to teach you that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express your frustration. biting is not ok... my little girl, you are stuck to me like glue all day and while you squeal with delight when daddy comes home and jump into his arms, you still manage to come to me throughout the night for hugs and "uppies"....
you guys are so sweet together. at least once a day, you have what i call a spontaneous hug session. at random times, but usually once a day, you'll start hugging and kissing and giggling.. it lasts 3-4 minutes but each day, i look forward to who will initiate the love session and when it will be. i love you guys.... i want this blog to be authentic so i will tell you that i don't love every minute of my days with you. i get frustrated, beat-down and just plain ol' tired.. but i feel very blessed to have this time with you and i know one day i will look back and appreciate it. but on a daily basis right now at this time in our lives, i'm holding on for dear life....
jt - you had no problems adjusting to moving or starting kindergarten. you are a natural leader and you've already designated yourself as the best student in the class. heheheh. honestly, i know you are more than ready for kindergarten and you thrive with each new challenge that is thrown at you. academically and socially, you don't seem to have any issues. it's literally just controlling your impulses that you need to work on. settle down, little man...
here is what you told me on your first day of school (verbatim):
"hey mom, guess what? i totally wasn't the class clown! there's this girl named sally and she is sooooo annoying! she can't stop talking! nobody thinks its funny and even the teacher told her to stop talking but all she does is talk, talk, talk!! even her best friend gets irritated - i can totally tell! even if she's the best friend, she still gets really annoyed at sally!"
you crack me up. i think your dad tells you at least once a month that he does NOT want you to be the class clown and your preschool teacher said that talking about it constantly is probably what makes you act like class clown!!! haha.. i blame dad for that one!
cbear - what can i say?!?!?!!? you are seriously a diva. ATTITUDE. oh. my. goodness. if it's not your shoes, it's your purse. if it's not your purse, it's your sunglasses. or your shirt. at 20 months old, you have an opinion about EVERYTHING and you LOVE to get your way. stubborn as a mule! last week, i saw a side of you that is completely like me. jt was pushing you around and you bit him. i told you to say sorry and you would NOT do it for the life of you. 2o minutes you cried and i honestly believe you were crying because you felt a sense of injustice, not because i put you in time out. you HATED apologizing for something you felt wasn't your fault in the first place and i am the same exact way. while i totally felt your pain and understood you, i need to teach you that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express your frustration. biting is not ok... my little girl, you are stuck to me like glue all day and while you squeal with delight when daddy comes home and jump into his arms, you still manage to come to me throughout the night for hugs and "uppies"....
you guys are so sweet together. at least once a day, you have what i call a spontaneous hug session. at random times, but usually once a day, you'll start hugging and kissing and giggling.. it lasts 3-4 minutes but each day, i look forward to who will initiate the love session and when it will be. i love you guys.... i want this blog to be authentic so i will tell you that i don't love every minute of my days with you. i get frustrated, beat-down and just plain ol' tired.. but i feel very blessed to have this time with you and i know one day i will look back and appreciate it. but on a daily basis right now at this time in our lives, i'm holding on for dear life....
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
SAHM
i am officially a stay at home mom. we've moved in to our new house and you guys love that you can go in and out of our backyard all day long. our lives are completely different now that i'm at home with you guys. you both seem to enjoy the time home with me but to be completely honest, it's soooo difficult for me. things have gotten a TINY bit easier as i've gotten used to our new routine but it's far from being easy.
jt - i know you miss your friends. you have always been a social creature and love all of your friends. here, every time we meet a kid around your age, you try to befriend them in a second and then tell us for days who your new best friend is. my heart breaks to see you try so hard but you will soon start your kindergarten summer school and i know you'll make tons of new friends.
ct - u have been so vocal these days! you have a limited vocabulary but that doesn't stop you from letting us all know what you want! you have rummaged through the recycling bin and have licked beer and soda. i hope this is not an indication of what's to come in your teenage years!! you had your first time out and while oppa always just laughed and ran away, you sat there with your hands over your eyes and just cried this pitiful little cry. it was so darn cute i was tempted to put you in time out all day! i love your little smiles and i love the way you get into everything. you're very adventurous but also have this girly-girl side of you. love it!
i am counting down the days until kindergarten. those few hours you are out of the house will hopefully be a big help in our relationship. i also hope kindergarten will stimulate you and help you mature a little bit. i think you'll take school seriously and i hope the good habits will continue at home...
i'm worn out but hopefully when i look back at this time, i will be very thankful for the time i got to spend with you guys..
jt - i know you miss your friends. you have always been a social creature and love all of your friends. here, every time we meet a kid around your age, you try to befriend them in a second and then tell us for days who your new best friend is. my heart breaks to see you try so hard but you will soon start your kindergarten summer school and i know you'll make tons of new friends.
ct - u have been so vocal these days! you have a limited vocabulary but that doesn't stop you from letting us all know what you want! you have rummaged through the recycling bin and have licked beer and soda. i hope this is not an indication of what's to come in your teenage years!! you had your first time out and while oppa always just laughed and ran away, you sat there with your hands over your eyes and just cried this pitiful little cry. it was so darn cute i was tempted to put you in time out all day! i love your little smiles and i love the way you get into everything. you're very adventurous but also have this girly-girl side of you. love it!
i am counting down the days until kindergarten. those few hours you are out of the house will hopefully be a big help in our relationship. i also hope kindergarten will stimulate you and help you mature a little bit. i think you'll take school seriously and i hope the good habits will continue at home...
i'm worn out but hopefully when i look back at this time, i will be very thankful for the time i got to spend with you guys..
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