ER update

jt - you came home at 11:30pm or so and cruised in with a strawberry milkshake from jack in the box!! i thought you would be exhausted from your ER visit but you held me to my promise and watched a full episode of hot wheels battle force 5 before heading to bed. your arm was not dislocated in any way - just a major contusion (bruise). daddy and i don't really think that's accurate, but hey - we're not doctors. you have a soft splint and cast on and we already followed up with our pediatrician and i guess it's just gotta heal. it's been 4 days now and you're moving your arm much more and better now so i definitely think it's healing.. whew!! no more ER visits, ok??

cbear - sick again!!! i took you for your 1 year shots today (more than a month overdue) because you've been sick since you turned 1! you have a runny nose but the doctor said you were clear to get shots today. your stats? 20 lbs. and 29.5 inches! your height is still on a consistent curve but your weight dropped a lot! i think it's because you're walking!! i'm actually a bit surprised because you can really pack in the food sometimes! i swear there have been meals when you ate more than oppa. :)

cbear , you started saying "dada" for daddy! it's funny because oppa calls dad "appah" and i refer to dad as "appah" but you won't say appah, you say dada! either way, you put a huge smile on your dad's face :) you are very verbal. jt was signing a little bit by now but you REFUSE to sign "more". instead, you say "mah" when you want more. today, daddy was messing around with our play microphone and you LOOOOVE to talk in that thing and hear yourself talk. you grabbed that mic away from him and babbled away for minutes! lots of different sounds and tones, too! maybe you'll be a singer or even a reporter. you do loooove being the center of attention.. hmm, i wonder where you got that from???? :)

health scares

cbear - you are FINE! we went to the pediatric endocrinologist and after meeting with him, he determined that you are normal! he sent us to get an xray of your left hand and by viewing the bones in your hand, he saw that your growth was normal and if you had excessive estrogen in your system, bone growth would be accelerated as well as your breast growth. i did not know that the bones in your hand are still developing at this stage. between 9 months and one year, a person develops a few more bones in the hand and from 1 year to 15 months, some more.. but the doctor felt good about where you are developmentally and did not feel any more tests were necessary. he gave us the option of bringing you back in 6 months but gave us every indication that he believes all is well. praise God. i've been praying very hard for you and many others in our lives have also been praying for you. we're blessed to have so many people who love us and care for us.

jt - as i am typing this, you are in the ER with your dad! you were in the space between the couches and were reaching for a tape measure that fell behind the couch and came out SCREAMING that you broke your arm. daddy wasn't home so i had to assess the situation and i think you dislocated something again!!!! doesn't seem broken, but you're holding your arm just like when your elbow was dislocated at school. daddy raced home and i'm nervously waiting for you to come back. i promised you could sleep with me, that you could watch hot wheels battle force 5 and that you didn't have to go to bed until you felt like it! that's how bad i felt for you!! :( i rarely baby you but in moments when you are in pain, i want to give you anything and everything to make you feel better...

i'm done with the health scares for now, guys. let's all stay healthy and happy, k?????

deep thoughts...

jt, you are exasperating but at times, you really amaze me with your insights... let's see... a little while ago, you asked me and dad this question - "what does it feel like to die?" WTF?!?! i know you think about death once in a while and we have tried to answer all of your questions honestly and simply. so, i kinda stayed quiet when you asked this question and your dad also kinda stayed quiet and while you didn't keep talking, we could tell that it was really on your mind... i am not ready to have this conversation with a 4 year old. but your dad handled it pretty well. he answered, "when a person dies, it gets really quiet and then really dark". you seemed pretty satisfied with the answer but your dad and i were so surprised that such a question would be on your mind...

today, driving home from school, i had to stop to pick up some noodles and i was telling you how difficult it was going to be to take both of you out to get the food because i am always nervous that you might run into the street. you said to me, "mommy, you don't really know me - i would never do such a thing". you really do talk beyond your years... i can't even imagine the things you're going to say in a year or two...

ct - you're still doing really well at school. your personality is sure coming out! today, when i picked you up, one of the teachers told me that you are one assertive little one year old! apparently, you kinda like your personal space and will let the other older kids know when they are getting too close :) i guess everyone in the room knows to give you some room! i love your spunk, your tough-girl attitude and the fact that you completely melt into my arms the next second. be tough out in the world, little girl.. and then be vulnerable in the safety of our home..

daycare!

cbear, you are officially a schoolgirl! :) you started daycare on monday! based on what i know about your personality so far in your young life, i really thought you were going to have a difficult time adjusting to daycare. daddy and i worried for weeks about how you were going to handle it. we both dropped you off on monday and you cried for literally 3 seconds when we handed you over to the teacher but had already stopped by the time we were outside the door! i even peeked in and you were already playing with your new friends. when i picked you up that day, we hugged for maybe 3-4 minutes, just so happy to be reunited. you had no problems and the teachers were so impressed with how well you did! the director warned me that day 2 is often the more difficult day, but you surprised us all by having an awesome day 2 and day 3!! no tears whatsoever. i'm so proud of you, c-bear! even though you act like my little baby at home, you really are a tough, independent girl! i think you were ready to explore more. you do seem to be a very social girl. so yay for you!

we are going through a little health scare with you right now. we have to find out if you have too much estrogen in your little body. when you were first born, you had a heart murmur that lasted a day, which scared us sooooooo much and now we're going through this. you had your very first ultrasound on tuesday and you did great! you were scared and cried but you held still just long enough for the tech to get some pictures. c-bear, you are truly so special to me. just the thought of you being sick or not well makes me want to jump off a cliff sometimes. i can't bear to even THINK that something is wrong with you so i am choosing to be positive and hopeful. THAT'S IT. only positivity. you have to be healthy and fine. you, more than anyone, need to be healthy.

i love you so much, my brave, sweet, loving, beautiful daughter.